My How Friday's have changed!

Five reasons that make today's Friday's different than Friday's 15 years ago!

1. 15 YEARS AGO: I was planning how to convince my mama to left me stay out later that my normal curfew...Midnight bowling? Late movie? TODAY: I have to stay up until at least 9 because any earlier and Parker my 3yo won't go to sleep!

2. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night at home...nightmare, boring. TODAY: Friday night at home is the best way to wind down after a crazy busy week.

3. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night ordering takeout from Angus Junction or cooking tacos, playing cards at Chris, Travis, and Tim's. TODAY: Friday night at home hanging with Chris, Parker and whatever supper I decided to prepare.

4. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night going out to eat blowing money on food and spotlighting on the way home! TODAY: Maybe a trip to Mexican to keep it simple and avoid the crowds.

5. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday nights at the fox pen that didn't end until Sat. mornings. Or hanging at the hunting club watching Chris clean deer. TODAY: Friday night at home on the couch counting down the minutes until 48 hours mystery and Chris better not kill a deer unless it is mountable! I don't eat deer meat anymore anyway!

My how things have changed...I love my life now and I loved my life then! God has been really good to me! SMILE EVERYONE IT IS FRIDAY, EVEN IF ALL YOU WANNA DO IS RELAX AT HOME!

I love to hear Parker talk...and if you know him you know that he does a lot of it now (much like his mommy I have been told). However being 3 leaves some funny/adorable words to be remembered! I wish that I could record all of the cute things he says b/c I know one day much too soon they will be words/phrases of the past. SOOOO...today is a list of new words/phrases added to Webster's dictionary by Parker and myself. Enjoy!

1. insteada: insteada pretty much "instead of" but the way Parker uses it is hilarious! Example: I ask, "Parker would you like a glass of milk or water to go with your lunch?" Parker replies, "Mom, could I have a Hudson juice insteada?" OK so Hudson juice will be explained with #2

2. Hudson juice: n. Hudson juice is a Roaring Waters Capri Sun, grape flavored specifically. He doesn't refer to the other flavors as this...explanation: My best friend's son's name is Hudson. One day at a festival Hudson shared a Roaring Waters grape flavored Capri Sun with Parker. Every since then it has been known as Hudson juice! :)

3. ouch head: n. an ouch head is a light head butt shared between 2 people. Before you freak it isn't painful, only harmless and fun so please don't overreact. Parker, when he was younger more so than now, used to want to do an ouch head with me daily...afterwards he would say WHOA and just bust out laughing! I limited it to once a day b/c I didn't want him going around trying to do this with just everyone, but he had this thing about wanting an "ouch head" so that's that!

4. kiss out : several kisses given to someone very quickly. Parker will kiss me like crazy and say, "Mom did we just have a kiss out or what?" So precious! I love kiss outs and start them myself sometimes!

5. pow wow wow wow wow: These are definitely words that Parker chooses to use when he is angry/upset with himself! He might fall and hurt himself by tripping over a step and these are the first words out of his mouth. Always. I think that it is his way of getting out frustration when it is a situation he can't control!

6. Rocky story: n. this is a story about our pet rooster Rocky. Each night while I am rocking Parker will always say his prayers first and then he tells me what the Rocky story should be about. It always involves, Parker, Rocky, and Anna (who is our friend at the lake). Parker always wants Anna to do something to get in trouble...usually it is something that he may have gotten in trouble for during the day or something that he has thought about doing but didn't. Anna in real life is a sweetie so she isn't like the Anna in our stories! Anywho, I always try to make the stories teach lessons so that Parker understands why we can and can't do certain things! YOU CAN'T GO TO BED WITHOUT A ROCKY STORY!

7. Parker's prayers at mealtime...Not sure why but when he says prayers at mealtimes it is always the same strange prayer. "Dear Lord, thank you for my father." I think that he somehow got Dear Heavenly Father and something else confused but he refuses to say it any other way.

8. bee sting: n. the infamous shot. Whenever Parker has to get a vaccination I always tell him a mean old bee must have come into the room and stung him. Now he is too smart for that but last year it worked well. After we would leave the doctors office we would talk the whole way home about that mean old bee!

9. mommy movie: n. an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Each day after rest time Parker and I sit together with a snack on the couch and watch one episode of a mommy movie (LHOTP). It is so cute how he snuggles up and ask me all about what is going on. He knows who is nice, mean, who always gets in trouble etc. In his little mind the characters live somewhere that he just hasn't had the opportunity to go yet. He recently saw a picture of a mill in one of my college albums and asked me was that the mill where Charles (the dad on LHOTP) works. TOO cute!

10. needing an ear: Parker has never rubbed a blanket, doodled hair (like I still do) but he has always loved to bend and crunch the upper part of ears. When I used to rock him completely to sleep he had to have a hold on my ear constantly. Now it is more of a comfort thing. When in a strange/different situation he holds my ears, when playing he will sometimes run over to me and grab my ear and say, "I just needed an ear." It is somewhat annoying b/c it hurts but I let him do it b/c I know that it makes him feel better. Sometimes when he is playing with his friends I will even catch him reaching for their ears.

Parker never ceases to amaze me with the things that he says, does, and understands. I hope that they continue to be as cute as the ones listed above! :) Until next time!

Friday is all about Food!

Today is a good day! I am excited and what is kinda sad is that I am excited about food! Can't wait to cheat on my diet on Sunday with a big fat juicy steak and tator! I may get them to cut me a 20 ouncer and I am not kidding! If you know me you know that I can eat like a grown man! I have lost willpower recently and have struggled to get it back b/c I am tired of baby carrots, fat free Pringles, chicken, chicken, and did I say chicken? Yes I know that there are fish, and other healthy options but I want red meat, cheeseburgers, french fries, cheese quesadillas, rice & beans, country style steak, chicken pot pie, pizza...So today's list is silly, fun, and just simply all about food...Today's list are the top 10 meals that I wish I could eat! Note: I love fast food and dining out so forgive me!

1. 2 Servings of Olive Garden 5 cheese baked ziti, with the whole salad bowl and bread basket for little old me! Yep I am not sharing so if you don't wanna get your hand bitten off stay back! LOL!

2. 2 McDoubles from Mickey D's, with a large fry, and a large water. I love water...one of the few healthy things that I truly enjoy but it just goes so well paired with whatever you choose. Dag I sound like water is a fine wine or something.

3. A huge, at least 12 ounce, ribeye topped with Gorgonzola cheese and a baked potato as big as your whole hand loaded with butter and sour cream...not fat free sour cream either...low fat is ok. from Sullivans! I might even like a bowl of french onion soup to start with!

4. A #1 combination at most any Mexican restaurant...2 cheese enchiladas, a beef taco, and a side of beans & rice! Hey can I get an extra basket of chips and carafe of salsa??? I am a heavy dipper you know!

5. Mema's fried chicken, homemade mac and cheese, stuffing with lots of eggs, turnip greens with vinegar, and some made from scratch biscuits. Followed up with a slice of homemade chocolate pie...then another helping of mac and cheese to cut the sweet taste. If you are from the south you know what I mean by cutting the sweet!

6. A T3 Combo from Taco Bell...1 Mexican Pizza with 2 supreme tacos and a bucket of Sierra Mist....hey don't forget the hot and mild sauce it just isn't the same without it....heck throw in a side of pintos and cheese and an order of cinnamon twist, and remember, I am not sharing!

7. Country Style Steak with gravy and onions, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole with fresh pecans baked to a crisp on top, purple hull peas and homemade corn bread...Granny Gupton does it best! I love it when she calls to invite me to eat, she always lists what is on the menu and makes it so hard for you to say no. Even if I call her to borrow something she always has something cooking that she can feed me! Also note...country folks have atleast 2 meats and 5 vegetables to choose from on any given Sunday lunch! So yes mashed and sweet potatoes!

8. A large, thin crust pork sausage and mushroom pizza from Papa John's...I want about 3 pkgs. of garlic butter so that I can pretty much soak my pizza in it. Oh and I love there little cheese sauce packs too YUMMY! That garlic butter on a late night delivery call can hurt you so BEWARE!!! I have been there more times than I would like to remember!

9. 2 no make that 3 fried eggs over well, a slab of country ham, 2 patties of sausage, hash brown casserole and buttered toast. Throw in a short stack of pancakes, a ton of syrup, a bottle of ketchup and pot of decaf coffee and I will be sitting pretty!

10. A Cajun Fillet Biscuit combo picnic sized...with season fries and a large Sierra Mist...I used to love their sweet tea, but I can't have the caffeine it does crazy things to my heart. I have to have a handful and ketchup and 3 packs of hot sauce to go on my biscuit. Just ask me and my mom...w/o the hot sauce it just isn't the same! I hate it and will even pull back thru when they forget to put it into my bag...Like I said it just isn't the same!

Well this post leaves me knowing that I will probably have to have a stint put in by my 40th bday, and starving....but I am not cheating until Sunday night...I feel like I just cheated anyway talking about all of this yummy, greasy, tantalizing food. Have a great weekend and if you aren't watching your weight or your health...EAT ONE FOR ME!!!!!!

I feel like BLAH today. I think that this pic shows it! I am just having one of those days so far...I know that when I pick up Parker from school, he will change my mood...you can't help but smile when you are around him!

1. Some people never cease to disappoint me...friends especially. I often wonder if I am that type of friend to them...sometimes I am afraid I am. I pray every night to become a better friend, a better person, someone God would be proud of. BUT then the next day it is so easy to fall right back in to being that same old person again...back in to the same old routines! Yuck and then when I sit down at night to pray I feel guilty because I know that not even for 1 day did I remember to be better, hold my tongue, not judge. No I am not out killing, committing adultery, stealing or anything so severe, but I still know that God expects more of me and from me! I have a greater purpose than what I am currently, or at least I feel that way!

2. Most people don't appreciate the things that you do for them...they just use you for whatever it is that they need from you. I am tired, SO TIRED, of that!!! However most of it I bring on myself thinking that I am doing the right thing, or helping someone...UGH! I need to become better at saying NO, or I just CAN'T, but that is easier said than done...and is that the right thing? WHO KNOWS!

3. No more gloom and doom, only I can change my attitude and make today better so I am switching gears to get out of this!


4. So apparently I am the only person who has never heard of Marty the one man Party, but I don't usually listen to country so forgive me. My husband however spotted him about 2 seconds after being seated behind him and his wife at a concert this past weekend! He was super cool and I liked his bio. on the 94.7 website, so I am now a fan!

5. Yes I know that this post is random, but I am such a RANDOM thinker anyway and I don't want to keep dwelling on things that make me sad and upset, when there are so many things to be happy about! So the next 5 points will be HAPPY THOUGHTS/RANDOM IDEAS ETC. because this blog is really for me and that is what I need today!

6. A chihuahua at the coffee shop was a mystery drink...until today. The mystery has been uncovered...most chihuahuas like to hump peoples legs but are really not too effective at it sooooo a chihuahua is a weak coffee that is watered down ie. making it an ineffective drink! I love the person telling this story because she is older, intelligent, and so honest, brutally at times but none the less honest!

7. Listening to random people in the coffee shop tell their stories, seek advice from the owner, who is also a great listener (I wish I was a better listener instead of such a talker), and discuss all sorts of things is so relaxing to me. I need a dictionary to understand some of the discussions because I am not an intellect but it is amazing at the topics of conversation...I love it! I love the regulars, which I am one of 3 days a week...but there are so many different types of people and I love that too! I think in here I am the decaf girl who never speaks but stays tapping away on the computer...hey...I am actually not talking...

8. This is me feeling better! I don't really look that much better, but my attitude has defiantly changed! Yay me!

9. My aunt, who Parker and I carry out to lunch every Wed., called me yesterday as she does every Tues. to see if we would be going to lunch the next day. I said of course, nothing had changed as long as she still felt up to it. Her response was, "Well the weatherman said that it might rain." I said that I wasn't afraid of the rain if she wasn't and that it didn't make me not want to go to lunch. Anyway about 30 minutes ago (which is a little later that her normal Wed. call) she called again and asked the same question that she ask me every Wed., "Are we still on for today?" I said of course and she said, "Well those clouds sure look crazy!" I reminded her that if it rained that we could still go but that if she wasn't comfortable getting out that we wouldn't. She replied, "Oh no...we can go...are you still coming at the same time?" I told her that I was and hung up the phone just shaking my head because every single week we go through the same conversation. Not exactly, it isn't always the rain but it is always something! :)

10. Never let the beginning of your day dictate how it will end, you can change it for the better!

I am reminded this morning of how much I used to love good music and the effect it used to have on me! I think back to all the shows and concerts that I once attended and all the burnt live tapes YES TAPES that I had to have...that was a time that I lived carefree...without anxiety and worry. Was I making the best choices at that time in my life??? Probably not but I can't say that I live with much regret, just lessons learned and many good times and good memories! Dance sessions in the kitchen with my best friends, cruising the country roads, hanging out on dirt paths, laying on blankets beneath the stars just to catch a glimpse of the night sky, Laurel Mill, spot lighting, Dockside (which was always really bad music from a cover band, but a good time non the less) ...its fun to look back and a little bit scary! LOL!



In college I even tried to learn to play the fiddle. I loved its raw sound and was inspired when I got the opportunity to see an 93 year old Appalachian girl bring tears to my eyes with the sound that she created with just her and her instrument. I will never forget the way she first began to stomp out the beat with the wooden hill of her shoe and then almost magically because it was so natural and effortless she jammed out on the fiddle for like 30 minutes straight! Pure Appalachian music...old school! She had to have help on and off of the stage but once she was with her instrument she transformed into one of the most powerful musicians I have ever witnessed. I went home after that and begged my mom for money to buy my own fiddle and found one for $75 dollars from a hippie on the street. I took lessons for a short while...I still smile now just thinking of the way Chris used to look at me while I attempted to practice. I shortly gave it up b/c I was a typical college kid...lazy and social but Chris mysteriously dropped the couch on it and pretty much destroyed it! I guess I really was THAT BAD! I tried piano as a child, played flute in the band in middle school, but most of my teachers told mama that she was wasting her time and money...they said that I would much rather be on a ball field somewhere and at that time they were right on. Now I wish I had learned an instrument. I envy those who play! As athletic as I was and still am, I would rather Parker have interest in music something that you can connect with emotionally not to mention do forever! Chris' grandaddy Gupton was a singer, songwriter, guitarist who played in church and even had on old gospel record out so maybe Parker will take after his musical talent! BUCKET LIST ITEM #31: Learn to play an instrument...prob. piano...would love guitar, but I can even hold one correctly!

Well, I guess that will lead me up to 5 for Friday, so have a great weekend and enjoy!

1. Listen to music, all genres, some is meaningful, powerful, moving, while other stuff is dumb and meaningless but provides dancing opportunities late at night! Definitely serving a purpose! LOL!

2. Try something new that you have always wanted to try/do...one day we will be too old, sick, to be so lucky!

3. Teach your child to love music...right now Parker ask to hear rock and roll because he said that is what he and his Dad like! I love to watch him rock out in the back seat in the rear view!

4. Slow dance in your kitchen with your husband/wife, dance like a crazy person with your children, and booty dance with your friends whenever the mood strikes. If you don't know how do booty dance...go to a wedding reception after 10pm and observe! LOL!

5. Sing out loud, or at least until your child or whoever is with you tells you to stop. Parker will tell me mama, I don't like that song, please don't sing that song...I think it is my singing that he doesn't like but he is just being nice! Not everyone is an American Idol, but it feels good so do it anyway!

5 for Friday!

So glad that Chris cancelled the trip to the river this weekend, so instead we are staying home, entertaining friends, and getting some work done around the homestead! Yippee...this is rare for us!

1. Watch out for the full moon...I love it, I love the way it controls my mood...makes me feel so giddy and WILD...Thank goodness children will be around tonight...Mama might get buck wild! Nah...but when the moon starts low and orange and then slowly rises and lightens it just makes me feel so natural/romantic/happy...I remember being like 8 and riding my four-wheeler on Fall nights and seeing that same moon and it gave me that same feeling back then! I think that Fall is my most favorite season!


2. Thank the Lord that we are able to be excited about simple things like upcoming trips, moons, friends, weekends...I think about those who are sick or have sick children and how they can't go outside, or don't have the energy or the strength to enjoy things that they once had. It reminds me of the last six months of my Mamascoot's life (my grandmother) and how she layed in her bed day and night and didn't know one day from the next, she didn't realize it was her birthday anymore or Christmas. Or a child who I am praying for that is fighting a losing battle with cancer and how every single moment of everyday single day must be so hard for him and his parents/family. TEARS!!! OH it hurts so bad!!! Thank you Lord that I don't have this in my life at this time!


3. Money isn't all it is cracked up to be. Yeah we need it, yeah I love to shop (not for clothes but stuff), yeah you have to pay bills but in the grand scheme of things when you are dead and gone the things that you do and say are what defines you! That is what people will miss, that is what your family will yearn for...so try to work a little less and don't let your job kill you! When you are dead and gone they will surely find someone to replace you and they will move on. Yuck! I am so thankful for the money and the job that provides for my family but I don't regret one second staying home with Parker and doing with a little less!

4. Remember when you encounter people that everyone has something that they are dealing with or going through that you know nothing about. We are so quick to judge, lash out at, and ignore people without really knowing the whole story. A waitress who might have made you wait too long to take your order, the person walking down the street cussing aloud while you walk within listening distance with your child, the worker in the pharmacy that gets yelled at b/c some one's prescription wasn't ready when they said it would be, and the lady yelling at the pharmacy worker. IT IS SO HARD NOT TO BE GUILTY OF THIS!!! I am so guilty! But I try to remember that the waitress could be on the phone in the kitchen with her babysitter because her child is sick and running a fever. The cussing walker could have just been layed off and doesn't know why! The lady yelling at the pharmacy worker could have a sick child at home who kept her up all night and desperately need the medicine right NOW! The pharmacy worker could have just gotten there after getting off from their first shift job and knows nothing of the situation and is doing her job to the best of her ability! We need to have compassion and understanding because we all are going through something!

5. Enjoy your weekend!

The pics above are all pics of Parker taken at home! For some reason lately I can't seem to quit thinking about all of the great memories that we have together and how lucky I have been to be able to be home daily to enjoy the simple things. We constantly come up with things to do: playing in mud puddles, cooking together, taking endless stroller rides, flying kites, swinging, looking for pecans, playing in the woods...this list is endless as is Parker's imagination at this point! Play has def. evolved from stroller rides and just crawling in the grass to magic tree house adventures and endless other things that we seem to find ourselves getting into. I wish that this time would never end, that Parker would never have to grow up and that we could stay in our magic tree house forever! Parker will sometimes tell me that he doesn't want to get big because then he won't fit in my lap or that he wants to be my baby forever...I always tell him that he has to get big and it will be fun getting big too not forgetting to throw in that he will always be my baby no matter how big/old he gets! I feel like we only have until he begins school (unless I choose to home school: and even if I choose that avenue, Parker is still going to grow up and things won't be the same.) I know that at each stage in a child's life their are wonderful memories made and experiences to try together but none as simple or as precious as what we have now. Sleeping in until Parker decides to wake up which is usually 7:15. Cartoons in mommy's bed. Breakfast together with conversation about our plans for the day. Clean up time, then learning and craft time...This is followed by outside fun until lunch, again making lunch together and then sitting down to enjoy our creation. Playing again until rest time which is always followed by a "mommy movie" (1 episode of Little House on the Prairie). Playtime again until it is time to come in for supper preparation. Parker usually helps with that as well or colors at his little table in the kitchen. Then Daddy gets home! When Parker was a newborn that time couldn't get here fast enough because those days were much harder and longer with a "refluxy, non sleeper" but now (on most days) Daddy is pulling up in the drive before we know it! I love my family and our precious time together, I love being a mom, and I love the Lord the most for giving me all of these wonderful gifts and people in my life! (I know that I need to be better about my walk with Christ as well so I am not proclaiming to be some great soul!) Our time here is short, our memories will fade or be erased by time or age but all I can do is live in the moment and have faith that one day on the new Earth which God promises those who make it to Heaven I can bask in wonderful memories and simpler times again!

7 Things that make me smile...All about Parker!

1. Even though it is not appropriate, I can't help but smile when Parker says, "I tooted...just like my dad" after passing gas! Anyone who knows Chris would say he deserves this one!

2. Hearing Parker talk about "mommy movies" like they are real places and people. "Mommy movies" are episodes of Little House on the Prairie which we watch one of everyday right after rest time. Parker talks about Ma, Pa, and Nellie Olsen like they live right down the street...he always says that Nellie is a mean girl!

3. Picking up Parker from preschool and hearing the first thing out of his mouth EVERY time be, "Did you bring me something sweet and sugary?" He thinks just being away from me even if he cried at drop off warrants something special...I must admit I usually do give him a little something...the boy loves sweets...like his Dad again!

4. Even though it is tough to handle at times, Parker's little temper makes me smile...(on the inside only of course) because again this is something he gets from his Dad and I love his Dad so much and seeing the good/bad/or ugly that Parker displays naturally because of the fact that he is "a little Chris G." or a "little me" reminds me how wonderful it is to have been able to have a baby!

5. Seeing kids in general experiencing new things, getting excited, and the funny things that they think to say!

6. Hearing Parker say his prayers at the table which are..."Dear God thank you for my Father...Amen" Not sure how he got that from our normal suppertime prayer but it is so cute!

7. Parker directs me to tell him his "Rocky Story" after our prayers at night when we are together in the rocking chair. Amazingly he and Rocky never do anything wrong but Anna (who is our cute little neighbor at the lake) always gets into something and Rocky and Parker come to her rescue!

I love being a mom and of course other things in life make me smile too, but not as often as my little Park Bean! Thanks to God for my little man!

The hourglass feels amost empty today...

Today I feel like my special time at home with Parker is running out...I think that it is because he returned to preschool this morning from our summer break, but it could also be the constant internal battle I am having with whether I would like to have baby no. 2 or not. You know you try to have a timeline, which I am sure that God laughs at, in your life of when you want things to happen or when you want to make a change... Mine concerning baby no. 2 was always well I would see how I felt about it when Parker turned 3...well in the wake of his third birthday, I am UNDECIDED... We didn't follow the timeline anyway when we decided to start trying for Parker but because it took so long for me to get pregnant, it ended up falling right on schedule with what I had originally planned. (I bet God is really laughing now! I know that Parker was given to us at just the right time that God had in mind but it is crazy how things like that happen!) Be married for 5 years and have that time for just "us" then try for baby no. 1. Once he was here I def. knew that I didn't want little stairsteps or if I even wanted another step so that it where..."well when Parker turns 3 I might think about another baby again", came from. Not that I don't love being a mom...anyone who knows me knows that I do...but nothing is wrong with being a mom to only 1 child either. It isn't selfish, it isn't unfair, it is whatever you make it! Soo...I am trying to figure that part of my future out and praying for God to let me know what he has in store for us! Ok so with that being said one of my friends who is a mother of two just stopped by and when I look at her youngest, it does make my heart yearn...also my best friend is pregnant and I love just looking at her belly grow and I feel a little bit jealous because I absolutly loved being pregnant...BUT it just isn't enough right now for me to say for 100% sure...

Now...Parker is at preschool and I think about our special time together. I think about how much fun we have had at home together, the wonderful bond that we share, and the special connection that we have that no one else is a part of. I love it. It makes me so sad to know that as he grows and I return to work and he goes to school, that this will all be precious memories. Ughhh...I don't want to take away anything from him, but secretly I would love to keep him all to myself at home forever. Hard realization that my baby boy is growing up!

Thursday 5~

1. Don't cheat on your diet when you have a head cold...you are wasting precious calories! Oh Well...blew that one!

2. You know that your child is a shopper when they find a pair of jeans at the Polo outlet and beg to try them on immediately...He def. didn't get that from Chris nor me!

3. Teach your children how to pray...Parker has prayed every night for me and asked for me to get rid of my cold! I know that God listens to them b/c they don't disappoint him like adults do...I am so guilty of that!

4. Enjoy your parents...my mom bought me all my favorite gossip mags. and favorite foods just so that Chris and I would be comfy during our visit...no matter how old you are they still spoil you because you are their baby!

5. Take time to listen to your child because much of the things good/bad that they say and do when they are little reflect what they see around them! This really makes you think!

Bring on the Tears #2

1. Don't watch Twilight before bed if romantic tension affects you like a double shot of caffeine! WOO HOO!!!

2. Remember that going through your deceased Grandmother's things is hard, but she wouldn't want YOU to throw away something impt. b/c SHE definitely didn't. I am so much like her it is unreal...I save everything! Old bills, letters, cards, notes, childhood writings. I can only imagine the amt. of time that it will take to sort through my things when I am gone! Today I found my Papa's birth certificate, the matching key to her safety deposit box, a fake book report that I wrote while playing school at her house tucked inside an old calculator, and I have so much more to sort through. It was hard but comforting! Even seeing her handwriting on the outside of old bills made me feel close to her at that very instant! I miss her sooooo much! Watching Parker run around in her empty house (not empty with material things, but empty b/c everyone is gone now and no one is living there any longer) made me feel close to her too instead of sad...I knew that she would have loved him so much just like she did Ginger and I if only she were there and healthy. Watching him make himself at home just like we always did so many times before just brought a smile to my face and I can't count the amt. of times I told the boy that Mamascoot would have loved to be there with him so bad! She was with me today, I know because she gave me some healing time that I felt like I had missed!

3. Don't write a #2 like I did and expect to have a meaning #3,#4, or #5!

4. Keep a box of Kleenex next to your computer when you blog! You never know what might pop into your mind to write and who knows you might end of crying like a baby and have to change your shirt before bed because you used the bottom of it as a tear wiper and it is soaked!

5. Always tell and show those you choose to surround yourself with that you love them whenever the urge hits you, even if it is a two year old, excuse me three year old, who decides to take his pants off just because he felt like it while playing! I just looked at him and said, "You silly boy, I just love you and your imaginary tag that is bothering you!" I will never doubt the love my Grandmother had for me and it is because she constantly surrounded me with it!

5 for Friday...cleaning!

1. When cleaning, avoid wearing a strapless bra...needless to say it will drive you crazy and end up as a belt!

2. Toilets are just nasty anyway you look at them, YUCK. I think that whoever invented the disposable toilet wand was very intelligent!

3. Don't feed your 3 year old leftover birthday cake for breakfast, illness will follow especially if they stayed up past their bedtime the night before eating birthday cake!

4. Realize that after you clean, people will come right behind you and dirty things up again...just smile and be glad that you got the old germs out of the way for new ones.

5. Enjoy your weekend, it will go by way too fast. Especially for me (whose mom is coming into town to visit :)), or those on vacation, pretty much for everyone who isn't working!

On the Brink of 3!

On the brink of Parker's third birthday I can't help but look back at how much my baby boy has grown and changed...it seems so long ago that he was so small and couldn't talk, or walk...nursing and pumping seems like just a distant memory except when I look down in the shower (lol), and they seemed to consume my whole existence not long ago. I have loved motherhood...the smiles, sweet kisses, laughter, stories, memories,outside adventures, and of course all the firsts of everything. But I can't say that I will ever forget the hard times...severe reflux, sleepless nights, emotional roller coasters of hormones, and just adjusting to life all over again.
In the beginning our days were filled with cuddling, snoozing, nursing, nursing, and did I say nursing? Lots of little tiny dirty diapers, and endless clothing changes from the millions of times that Parker would spew b/c of that mean ol' reflux. I remember being so worried that he was going to get choked in the night and I wasn't going to hear him. The first night home I remember that Chris and I put him in the bassinet next to the bed and we both tried to stay awake all night just to keep and eye on him. Whew. I am not quick to ever say that I am tired or sleepy because I found out back then what tired and sleepy really meant. :) During my prayers each night even now I still thank God for SLEEP!
With this little face I couldn't have ever known a greater love! I found dedication that I didn't even know I had within me. I also found a greater appreciation for all moms out there!
The tongue phase was so funny!
It didn't matter how cold, hot, or windy it was; Parker and I strolled down the dirt road everyday at least 10 times. He never would ride in the stroller on a smooth surface like in a mall, it had to be bumpy and outdoors! Also, I spent many days, weeks, months in pj's all day just trying to find a way to get it all together alone while Chris was at work. It is so funny/challenging that adjustment period!

Photo shoots are still going on because this time is so precious and fleeting. I love looking back at pics like this now when I would try to get him doing something, and then he wouldn't cooperate. Now I am glad that he didn't because I love seeing him in action!


Ok...so even though I wish I could record every single memory, moment, sweet conversation I will end here with a top ten of the things that I have learned as a mom in 3 years.

1. I am beginning to sense that a 3 year old is more determined than a 2 year old.

2. You will sleep again, even though you never think you will!

3. Whoever said that a potty trained child is easier than one in diapers has never ridden to the beach with Parker.

4. It really is harder to discipline your child than you thought BUT you have to no matter what! I remember saying, "If that was my child I would ....". I have eaten those words one to many times.

5. Enjoy all the little moments that you tend to rush through just to get it done ie. bath time, rocking your baby to sleep. I treasure all of our sweet little moments just before bedtime when we are snuggled up praying and talking.

6. Don't try to be supermom, and don't assume that the way you do/did things is the only way because all children are different and what works for one does not always work for the other. Plus people WILL get tired of your advice! :)

7. Read all the books you can before your child gets to certain stages in life just to give you a heads up on what to prepare for and train for...but don't forget to trust your motherly instincts in the process.

8. Don't forget to plan time without the little one. Date nights and just time apart is good for everyone and doesn't make you a bad mom.

9. You don't have to spend a lot of money on expensive toys...they won't care how much they cost and you will just spend hours picking them up so that you can go outside and play with a stick that is much more fun.

10. Take your child to church, talk about God at home, pray together, eat together, go camping, fishing, grocery shopping, get them out. Even though it is harder on you, it teaches them so much about the world around them!

Happy Birthday to my Parker! I love you with all my heart and hope that you teach me many more things in the many years to come!

1st Birthday!

2nd Birthday!

On the Brink of 3!

I love you Mamascoot!

I have thought about Mamascoot's funeral for a long time now because I wanted it to be perfect and reflect the type of person that she had been to me...Even before her death, I vowed that I would speak or at least write something personal from me because she was such a key player in my existence...Papa's funeral a few years back left me sad, empty, angry because he wasn't a church going man, and the speaker struggled to speak about him because truthfully he didn't know him...I wasn't involved in the process because I was still in college and just didn't get involved. Nonetheless, I regret that I wasn't able to do the same for him because he was a great granddad to me and nothing was much better to me growing up than time with him. We all play different roles in peoples lives and can be seen as different people by each individual but his role in my life was played perfectly! Anywho...

This was what the preacher chose to read during the funeral and then what I wrote...Mamascoot was positive, full of life, sassy, wild at times (I have heard her tell stories and she was never ashamed and didn't believe in it), strong, fearless, etc.

Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to God in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

I loved this piece because Mamascoot had not lived an easy life, and I thought it fit just perfect!!

Now this is what I wrote...I could have gone on and on...this is just the tip of the iceberg for what she was to me, however I wanted to keep it short and sweet.

June 5, 2010

You may have known my grandma as Mrs. Jackson, Helen, Lucy, or Duck, but to me she has always been Mamascoot. She was my number one cheerleader at every ballgame I ever played in. I will never look at her front yard and not think of all the balls that she pitched to me there…She was my favorite playmate, never tiring of whatever game I chose to play from cards to grocery store, even if it meant tearing up half the house. She was my chauffeur who carted me everywhere from school, dance, practice, the pool…wherever I was headed she always made sure I got there! She was everything that I ever needed her to be. Even once her mind began to fail her I never once left when she didn’t ask if there was anything that she could do for me. God blessed me with a wonderful grandmother, the best actually and I will always love my mamascoot!

Mamascoot was suffering from Alzheimer's so I had prayed for her to go home and leave this world that she was suffering in, but I still miss the person that she was long before the illness took over.

Surfing USA! 2010

So glad that we found this boogie board in the old shed at Connie's b/c it provided many minutes of enjoyment for Parker. Minutes, not hours, is all you can ask for from a 2 year old! Parker just kept chanting, "Surfing USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Love the pose here! I can so see him on a real surfboard in a few years...reminds me of the Gidget Goes Hawaiian movie we watched later that night after Parker went to bed! So cute and cheesy! Jan didn't like it much and sent it home with Debbie and I!
Baywatch Boy here: Like I said the boogie board was great! Parker's little imagination was just going wild with ways to use that thing to have fun!
POOPED...NOT!
Aunt Connie came to save the day...Parker made every step that she made and fell in love with her and Jan. So sweet to see my little guy grow closer to his family! When I mean every step I am not exaggerating...every time Connie or Jan got out of Parker's sight he would say, "Where's Connie?". But that is to be expected...they are so fun and playful!
Last activity on the agenda for the beach was sledding...Parker had a blast as Connie pulled him around and down this little hill formed by the changing tides! Instant slide in Parker's mind! I love the way a child can make so much with so little and never miss a beat. We had a great time while Daddy and Granddaddy were off on their fishing trip. Grandma, Parker, and I...ATE A LOT, PLAYED A LOT, and watched the same old Scooby Do movie clip every time that we got into the car to travel. Once Connie and Jan got there the playmates and attention for Parker just multiplied and he was in "hog heaven"...I love making memories with my baby boy...I hope that he will always remember our little adventures when we are old and gray!

Cup No. 3

Here I am skipping the gym again to go and induge in internet and coffee before I pick Parker up from preschool. It is amazing the things that I choose to look at and read about while I am here. Todays bright topic: Home School...triggered by 3 random conversations that I have had throughout the course of the last week...well one was a converation that I was easedropping on. Once a public school teacher I always have had such negitive feelings about homeschool, but now as a mom who is one the other side I am def. rethinking some of my preconcieved notions. Not saying that I am going to homeshchool Parker, but now I am so unsure. At times I feel like it is unfair and that I would feel guilty for making him miss out on some of the great things being thrown into a classroom with 20 other kids means, but at the same time that is one of the main reasons that I would want to homeschool...I believe that Public Education is a good education don't get me wrong, I will always stand by that BUT the exposure to things that some kids know too early and the abundance of crazy people trying to get into the schools to hurt kids intentionally....WHOA! Background checks are great, but so many crazy, mean, sick people out there have never been caught and the thought of them hurting my baby just scares me to death. I want Parker to be exposed to all different types of people and learn how to make his way in this world but at the same time I want to shelter him from being "overexposed"! I don't claim to be super mom, but I just want to do what is right for my son and family...not sure what that is right now as it relates to this topic.... So for now...off to get the man (Parker), and enjoy all the great things that having a 2 almost 3 year old means!!