I feel like BLAH today. I think that this pic shows it! I am just having one of those days so far...I know that when I pick up Parker from school, he will change my mood...you can't help but smile when you are around him!

1. Some people never cease to disappoint me...friends especially. I often wonder if I am that type of friend to them...sometimes I am afraid I am. I pray every night to become a better friend, a better person, someone God would be proud of. BUT then the next day it is so easy to fall right back in to being that same old person again...back in to the same old routines! Yuck and then when I sit down at night to pray I feel guilty because I know that not even for 1 day did I remember to be better, hold my tongue, not judge. No I am not out killing, committing adultery, stealing or anything so severe, but I still know that God expects more of me and from me! I have a greater purpose than what I am currently, or at least I feel that way!

2. Most people don't appreciate the things that you do for them...they just use you for whatever it is that they need from you. I am tired, SO TIRED, of that!!! However most of it I bring on myself thinking that I am doing the right thing, or helping someone...UGH! I need to become better at saying NO, or I just CAN'T, but that is easier said than done...and is that the right thing? WHO KNOWS!

3. No more gloom and doom, only I can change my attitude and make today better so I am switching gears to get out of this!


4. So apparently I am the only person who has never heard of Marty the one man Party, but I don't usually listen to country so forgive me. My husband however spotted him about 2 seconds after being seated behind him and his wife at a concert this past weekend! He was super cool and I liked his bio. on the 94.7 website, so I am now a fan!

5. Yes I know that this post is random, but I am such a RANDOM thinker anyway and I don't want to keep dwelling on things that make me sad and upset, when there are so many things to be happy about! So the next 5 points will be HAPPY THOUGHTS/RANDOM IDEAS ETC. because this blog is really for me and that is what I need today!

6. A chihuahua at the coffee shop was a mystery drink...until today. The mystery has been uncovered...most chihuahuas like to hump peoples legs but are really not too effective at it sooooo a chihuahua is a weak coffee that is watered down ie. making it an ineffective drink! I love the person telling this story because she is older, intelligent, and so honest, brutally at times but none the less honest!

7. Listening to random people in the coffee shop tell their stories, seek advice from the owner, who is also a great listener (I wish I was a better listener instead of such a talker), and discuss all sorts of things is so relaxing to me. I need a dictionary to understand some of the discussions because I am not an intellect but it is amazing at the topics of conversation...I love it! I love the regulars, which I am one of 3 days a week...but there are so many different types of people and I love that too! I think in here I am the decaf girl who never speaks but stays tapping away on the computer...hey...I am actually not talking...

8. This is me feeling better! I don't really look that much better, but my attitude has defiantly changed! Yay me!

9. My aunt, who Parker and I carry out to lunch every Wed., called me yesterday as she does every Tues. to see if we would be going to lunch the next day. I said of course, nothing had changed as long as she still felt up to it. Her response was, "Well the weatherman said that it might rain." I said that I wasn't afraid of the rain if she wasn't and that it didn't make me not want to go to lunch. Anyway about 30 minutes ago (which is a little later that her normal Wed. call) she called again and asked the same question that she ask me every Wed., "Are we still on for today?" I said of course and she said, "Well those clouds sure look crazy!" I reminded her that if it rained that we could still go but that if she wasn't comfortable getting out that we wouldn't. She replied, "Oh no...we can go...are you still coming at the same time?" I told her that I was and hung up the phone just shaking my head because every single week we go through the same conversation. Not exactly, it isn't always the rain but it is always something! :)

10. Never let the beginning of your day dictate how it will end, you can change it for the better!

I am reminded this morning of how much I used to love good music and the effect it used to have on me! I think back to all the shows and concerts that I once attended and all the burnt live tapes YES TAPES that I had to have...that was a time that I lived carefree...without anxiety and worry. Was I making the best choices at that time in my life??? Probably not but I can't say that I live with much regret, just lessons learned and many good times and good memories! Dance sessions in the kitchen with my best friends, cruising the country roads, hanging out on dirt paths, laying on blankets beneath the stars just to catch a glimpse of the night sky, Laurel Mill, spot lighting, Dockside (which was always really bad music from a cover band, but a good time non the less) ...its fun to look back and a little bit scary! LOL!



In college I even tried to learn to play the fiddle. I loved its raw sound and was inspired when I got the opportunity to see an 93 year old Appalachian girl bring tears to my eyes with the sound that she created with just her and her instrument. I will never forget the way she first began to stomp out the beat with the wooden hill of her shoe and then almost magically because it was so natural and effortless she jammed out on the fiddle for like 30 minutes straight! Pure Appalachian music...old school! She had to have help on and off of the stage but once she was with her instrument she transformed into one of the most powerful musicians I have ever witnessed. I went home after that and begged my mom for money to buy my own fiddle and found one for $75 dollars from a hippie on the street. I took lessons for a short while...I still smile now just thinking of the way Chris used to look at me while I attempted to practice. I shortly gave it up b/c I was a typical college kid...lazy and social but Chris mysteriously dropped the couch on it and pretty much destroyed it! I guess I really was THAT BAD! I tried piano as a child, played flute in the band in middle school, but most of my teachers told mama that she was wasting her time and money...they said that I would much rather be on a ball field somewhere and at that time they were right on. Now I wish I had learned an instrument. I envy those who play! As athletic as I was and still am, I would rather Parker have interest in music something that you can connect with emotionally not to mention do forever! Chris' grandaddy Gupton was a singer, songwriter, guitarist who played in church and even had on old gospel record out so maybe Parker will take after his musical talent! BUCKET LIST ITEM #31: Learn to play an instrument...prob. piano...would love guitar, but I can even hold one correctly!

Well, I guess that will lead me up to 5 for Friday, so have a great weekend and enjoy!

1. Listen to music, all genres, some is meaningful, powerful, moving, while other stuff is dumb and meaningless but provides dancing opportunities late at night! Definitely serving a purpose! LOL!

2. Try something new that you have always wanted to try/do...one day we will be too old, sick, to be so lucky!

3. Teach your child to love music...right now Parker ask to hear rock and roll because he said that is what he and his Dad like! I love to watch him rock out in the back seat in the rear view!

4. Slow dance in your kitchen with your husband/wife, dance like a crazy person with your children, and booty dance with your friends whenever the mood strikes. If you don't know how do booty dance...go to a wedding reception after 10pm and observe! LOL!

5. Sing out loud, or at least until your child or whoever is with you tells you to stop. Parker will tell me mama, I don't like that song, please don't sing that song...I think it is my singing that he doesn't like but he is just being nice! Not everyone is an American Idol, but it feels good so do it anyway!