I have thought about Mamascoot's funeral for a long time now because I wanted it to be perfect and reflect the type of person that she had been to me...Even before her death, I vowed that I would speak or at least write something personal from me because she was such a key player in my existence...Papa's funeral a few years back left me sad, empty, angry because he wasn't a church going man, and the speaker struggled to speak about him because truthfully he didn't know him...I wasn't involved in the process because I was still in college and just didn't get involved. Nonetheless, I regret that I wasn't able to do the same for him because he was a great granddad to me and nothing was much better to me growing up than time with him. We all play different roles in peoples lives and can be seen as different people by each individual but his role in my life was played perfectly! Anywho...
This was what the preacher chose to read during the funeral and then what I wrote...Mamascoot was positive, full of life, sassy, wild at times (I have heard her tell stories and she was never ashamed and didn't believe in it), strong, fearless, etc.
Quilt of Holes
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to God in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."
May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!
I loved this piece because Mamascoot had not lived an easy life, and I thought it fit just perfect!!
Now this is what I wrote...I could have gone on and on...this is just the tip of the iceberg for what she was to me, however I wanted to keep it short and sweet.
June 5, 2010
You may have known my grandma as Mrs. Jackson, Helen, Lucy, or Duck, but to me she has always been Mamascoot. She was my number one cheerleader at every ballgame I ever played in. I will never look at her front yard and not think of all the balls that she pitched to me there…She was my favorite playmate, never tiring of whatever game I chose to play from cards to grocery store, even if it meant tearing up half the house. She was my chauffeur who carted me everywhere from school, dance, practice, the pool…wherever I was headed she always made sure I got there! She was everything that I ever needed her to be. Even once her mind began to fail her I never once left when she didn’t ask if there was anything that she could do for me. God blessed me with a wonderful grandmother, the best actually and I will always love my mamascoot!
Mamascoot was suffering from Alzheimer's so I had prayed for her to go home and leave this world that she was suffering in, but I still miss the person that she was long before the illness took over.
Gretchen, Greta, Goodie, Mommy: Call me what you want!
