Tucker I have been so busy being mommy to you that I haven't had time to write about you.

Tucker I can't believe that you are already 22 months old. Right now you are getting more and more personality. You are super determined, but such a mama's boy. I love the way you love me. I love the way the you wrap your little arms around my neck when I tote you. I tote you a lot by the way. You are definitely my hip baby. That is ok. Your brother was the same way and I loved that about him too. However I will pass on your little shoes grinding a blister on to my thighs. You love to wrestle, play swords, watch Teen Beach Movie, play outside, and to look at books. Funny that they are the same books that your brother loved. It is amazing. I have hundreds of books for you to choose from and you have found your way to Parker's old favorites. The big truck book, the machine book, the little farm vehicles books. I just love that you love your big brother the way you do and I hope that you both will grow to cherish your relationship. You are such a creature of habit, much like your brother and I. Coffee milk in the morning....nothing can happen before you get that cup. Sitting on the couch chugging it all the while watching Wild Katts on PBS. I can not put you down for like the first hour that you are awake. This is one of your funny little quirks that is hard, but I know that I will one day look back on and laugh. You wake up very very ill. Some days nothing is right. Sometimes if I use the wrong cup, you lose your mind. You are pretty demanding, but I think that when you start to talk more, that frustration will go away, because it usually happens when I can't figure out what it is that you want. Again sometimes, I am not sure you even know what you want when you get in to that silly mood. I love you and all your silly quirks. In other ways you are so easy. You love to play with your brother, you sit in your little sandbox and play so pretty. You go to bed like a little angel all by yourself. That is something that your brother never did at such a young age. We watch a little 4 or 5 minutes of tv on my bed and snuggle, hit the rocking chair in your room for your nightly prayers, and then into your little crib you go. Awake, happy, and asleep in like no time. I have never had a child do that....fall asleep on their own. I still have to ride you in the car for nap time, but I don't mind...it works and you go right to sleep. Right now I am so worried about you. We have just confirmed that you have a peanut allergy and it just breaks my heart. I worry for you and for what might happen. I just wish that I could protect you. I try not to think too much, read too much, because I don't want to hinder you by turning myself into a crazy women....but then I feel like I should be reading, thinking, doing all I can to figure out how to protect you best on this new "peanut free journey". Who knew that so many things contain peanuts, were processed with peanuts....I just wanna rid the world of them to protect you. I love you with all my heart and I just pray that God can protect you because I feel like with this I can't do it on my own. I know that really I can't do anything on my own without God's grace and strength, but I really feel like this is so far more than I can handle. This has just seemed to overwhelm me. I just worry, worry, worry and rightly so. It is your little life that depends on me to protect it. I love you and want to end this blog with a prayer over you. Dear Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for all my sins because I know that I have many. Thank you so much for all the many blessings that I have in my life because I know that you are the reason behind them. Thank you for allowing me to be a mom, Parker and Tucker are the best Earthly gifts that I have. Lord I pray for those who don't have children and want them, I pray that it is your will to make them parents, and Lord for those who find themselves with a child that they don't want, Lord I pray that you will change their heart and protect their babies. I pray for those who are scared, suffering, sick, weary...Lord I pray that they seek you and don't feel like they have to handle anything alone. Lord I pray for the salvation of Parker and Tucker. I pray that they will always love you and trust you. I pray that you will protect them from drugs, lost people who choose to do evil, and bad situations. Lastly I pray for the Lost, that they will come to know you before it is too late. I can't imagine not having you to cry out to. Thanks you Lord for all my many blessings. Amen

My How Friday's have changed!

Five reasons that make today's Friday's different than Friday's 15 years ago!

1. 15 YEARS AGO: I was planning how to convince my mama to left me stay out later that my normal curfew...Midnight bowling? Late movie? TODAY: I have to stay up until at least 9 because any earlier and Parker my 3yo won't go to sleep!

2. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night at home...nightmare, boring. TODAY: Friday night at home is the best way to wind down after a crazy busy week.

3. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night ordering takeout from Angus Junction or cooking tacos, playing cards at Chris, Travis, and Tim's. TODAY: Friday night at home hanging with Chris, Parker and whatever supper I decided to prepare.

4. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday night going out to eat blowing money on food and spotlighting on the way home! TODAY: Maybe a trip to Mexican to keep it simple and avoid the crowds.

5. 15 YEARS AGO: Friday nights at the fox pen that didn't end until Sat. mornings. Or hanging at the hunting club watching Chris clean deer. TODAY: Friday night at home on the couch counting down the minutes until 48 hours mystery and Chris better not kill a deer unless it is mountable! I don't eat deer meat anymore anyway!

My how things have changed...I love my life now and I loved my life then! God has been really good to me! SMILE EVERYONE IT IS FRIDAY, EVEN IF ALL YOU WANNA DO IS RELAX AT HOME!

I love to hear Parker talk...and if you know him you know that he does a lot of it now (much like his mommy I have been told). However being 3 leaves some funny/adorable words to be remembered! I wish that I could record all of the cute things he says b/c I know one day much too soon they will be words/phrases of the past. SOOOO...today is a list of new words/phrases added to Webster's dictionary by Parker and myself. Enjoy!

1. insteada: insteada pretty much "instead of" but the way Parker uses it is hilarious! Example: I ask, "Parker would you like a glass of milk or water to go with your lunch?" Parker replies, "Mom, could I have a Hudson juice insteada?" OK so Hudson juice will be explained with #2

2. Hudson juice: n. Hudson juice is a Roaring Waters Capri Sun, grape flavored specifically. He doesn't refer to the other flavors as this...explanation: My best friend's son's name is Hudson. One day at a festival Hudson shared a Roaring Waters grape flavored Capri Sun with Parker. Every since then it has been known as Hudson juice! :)

3. ouch head: n. an ouch head is a light head butt shared between 2 people. Before you freak it isn't painful, only harmless and fun so please don't overreact. Parker, when he was younger more so than now, used to want to do an ouch head with me daily...afterwards he would say WHOA and just bust out laughing! I limited it to once a day b/c I didn't want him going around trying to do this with just everyone, but he had this thing about wanting an "ouch head" so that's that!

4. kiss out : several kisses given to someone very quickly. Parker will kiss me like crazy and say, "Mom did we just have a kiss out or what?" So precious! I love kiss outs and start them myself sometimes!

5. pow wow wow wow wow: These are definitely words that Parker chooses to use when he is angry/upset with himself! He might fall and hurt himself by tripping over a step and these are the first words out of his mouth. Always. I think that it is his way of getting out frustration when it is a situation he can't control!

6. Rocky story: n. this is a story about our pet rooster Rocky. Each night while I am rocking Parker will always say his prayers first and then he tells me what the Rocky story should be about. It always involves, Parker, Rocky, and Anna (who is our friend at the lake). Parker always wants Anna to do something to get in trouble...usually it is something that he may have gotten in trouble for during the day or something that he has thought about doing but didn't. Anna in real life is a sweetie so she isn't like the Anna in our stories! Anywho, I always try to make the stories teach lessons so that Parker understands why we can and can't do certain things! YOU CAN'T GO TO BED WITHOUT A ROCKY STORY!

7. Parker's prayers at mealtime...Not sure why but when he says prayers at mealtimes it is always the same strange prayer. "Dear Lord, thank you for my father." I think that he somehow got Dear Heavenly Father and something else confused but he refuses to say it any other way.

8. bee sting: n. the infamous shot. Whenever Parker has to get a vaccination I always tell him a mean old bee must have come into the room and stung him. Now he is too smart for that but last year it worked well. After we would leave the doctors office we would talk the whole way home about that mean old bee!

9. mommy movie: n. an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Each day after rest time Parker and I sit together with a snack on the couch and watch one episode of a mommy movie (LHOTP). It is so cute how he snuggles up and ask me all about what is going on. He knows who is nice, mean, who always gets in trouble etc. In his little mind the characters live somewhere that he just hasn't had the opportunity to go yet. He recently saw a picture of a mill in one of my college albums and asked me was that the mill where Charles (the dad on LHOTP) works. TOO cute!

10. needing an ear: Parker has never rubbed a blanket, doodled hair (like I still do) but he has always loved to bend and crunch the upper part of ears. When I used to rock him completely to sleep he had to have a hold on my ear constantly. Now it is more of a comfort thing. When in a strange/different situation he holds my ears, when playing he will sometimes run over to me and grab my ear and say, "I just needed an ear." It is somewhat annoying b/c it hurts but I let him do it b/c I know that it makes him feel better. Sometimes when he is playing with his friends I will even catch him reaching for their ears.

Parker never ceases to amaze me with the things that he says, does, and understands. I hope that they continue to be as cute as the ones listed above! :) Until next time!

Friday is all about Food!

Today is a good day! I am excited and what is kinda sad is that I am excited about food! Can't wait to cheat on my diet on Sunday with a big fat juicy steak and tator! I may get them to cut me a 20 ouncer and I am not kidding! If you know me you know that I can eat like a grown man! I have lost willpower recently and have struggled to get it back b/c I am tired of baby carrots, fat free Pringles, chicken, chicken, and did I say chicken? Yes I know that there are fish, and other healthy options but I want red meat, cheeseburgers, french fries, cheese quesadillas, rice & beans, country style steak, chicken pot pie, pizza...So today's list is silly, fun, and just simply all about food...Today's list are the top 10 meals that I wish I could eat! Note: I love fast food and dining out so forgive me!

1. 2 Servings of Olive Garden 5 cheese baked ziti, with the whole salad bowl and bread basket for little old me! Yep I am not sharing so if you don't wanna get your hand bitten off stay back! LOL!

2. 2 McDoubles from Mickey D's, with a large fry, and a large water. I love water...one of the few healthy things that I truly enjoy but it just goes so well paired with whatever you choose. Dag I sound like water is a fine wine or something.

3. A huge, at least 12 ounce, ribeye topped with Gorgonzola cheese and a baked potato as big as your whole hand loaded with butter and sour cream...not fat free sour cream either...low fat is ok. from Sullivans! I might even like a bowl of french onion soup to start with!

4. A #1 combination at most any Mexican restaurant...2 cheese enchiladas, a beef taco, and a side of beans & rice! Hey can I get an extra basket of chips and carafe of salsa??? I am a heavy dipper you know!

5. Mema's fried chicken, homemade mac and cheese, stuffing with lots of eggs, turnip greens with vinegar, and some made from scratch biscuits. Followed up with a slice of homemade chocolate pie...then another helping of mac and cheese to cut the sweet taste. If you are from the south you know what I mean by cutting the sweet!

6. A T3 Combo from Taco Bell...1 Mexican Pizza with 2 supreme tacos and a bucket of Sierra Mist....hey don't forget the hot and mild sauce it just isn't the same without it....heck throw in a side of pintos and cheese and an order of cinnamon twist, and remember, I am not sharing!

7. Country Style Steak with gravy and onions, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole with fresh pecans baked to a crisp on top, purple hull peas and homemade corn bread...Granny Gupton does it best! I love it when she calls to invite me to eat, she always lists what is on the menu and makes it so hard for you to say no. Even if I call her to borrow something she always has something cooking that she can feed me! Also note...country folks have atleast 2 meats and 5 vegetables to choose from on any given Sunday lunch! So yes mashed and sweet potatoes!

8. A large, thin crust pork sausage and mushroom pizza from Papa John's...I want about 3 pkgs. of garlic butter so that I can pretty much soak my pizza in it. Oh and I love there little cheese sauce packs too YUMMY! That garlic butter on a late night delivery call can hurt you so BEWARE!!! I have been there more times than I would like to remember!

9. 2 no make that 3 fried eggs over well, a slab of country ham, 2 patties of sausage, hash brown casserole and buttered toast. Throw in a short stack of pancakes, a ton of syrup, a bottle of ketchup and pot of decaf coffee and I will be sitting pretty!

10. A Cajun Fillet Biscuit combo picnic sized...with season fries and a large Sierra Mist...I used to love their sweet tea, but I can't have the caffeine it does crazy things to my heart. I have to have a handful and ketchup and 3 packs of hot sauce to go on my biscuit. Just ask me and my mom...w/o the hot sauce it just isn't the same! I hate it and will even pull back thru when they forget to put it into my bag...Like I said it just isn't the same!

Well this post leaves me knowing that I will probably have to have a stint put in by my 40th bday, and starving....but I am not cheating until Sunday night...I feel like I just cheated anyway talking about all of this yummy, greasy, tantalizing food. Have a great weekend and if you aren't watching your weight or your health...EAT ONE FOR ME!!!!!!

I feel like BLAH today. I think that this pic shows it! I am just having one of those days so far...I know that when I pick up Parker from school, he will change my mood...you can't help but smile when you are around him!

1. Some people never cease to disappoint me...friends especially. I often wonder if I am that type of friend to them...sometimes I am afraid I am. I pray every night to become a better friend, a better person, someone God would be proud of. BUT then the next day it is so easy to fall right back in to being that same old person again...back in to the same old routines! Yuck and then when I sit down at night to pray I feel guilty because I know that not even for 1 day did I remember to be better, hold my tongue, not judge. No I am not out killing, committing adultery, stealing or anything so severe, but I still know that God expects more of me and from me! I have a greater purpose than what I am currently, or at least I feel that way!

2. Most people don't appreciate the things that you do for them...they just use you for whatever it is that they need from you. I am tired, SO TIRED, of that!!! However most of it I bring on myself thinking that I am doing the right thing, or helping someone...UGH! I need to become better at saying NO, or I just CAN'T, but that is easier said than done...and is that the right thing? WHO KNOWS!

3. No more gloom and doom, only I can change my attitude and make today better so I am switching gears to get out of this!


4. So apparently I am the only person who has never heard of Marty the one man Party, but I don't usually listen to country so forgive me. My husband however spotted him about 2 seconds after being seated behind him and his wife at a concert this past weekend! He was super cool and I liked his bio. on the 94.7 website, so I am now a fan!

5. Yes I know that this post is random, but I am such a RANDOM thinker anyway and I don't want to keep dwelling on things that make me sad and upset, when there are so many things to be happy about! So the next 5 points will be HAPPY THOUGHTS/RANDOM IDEAS ETC. because this blog is really for me and that is what I need today!

6. A chihuahua at the coffee shop was a mystery drink...until today. The mystery has been uncovered...most chihuahuas like to hump peoples legs but are really not too effective at it sooooo a chihuahua is a weak coffee that is watered down ie. making it an ineffective drink! I love the person telling this story because she is older, intelligent, and so honest, brutally at times but none the less honest!

7. Listening to random people in the coffee shop tell their stories, seek advice from the owner, who is also a great listener (I wish I was a better listener instead of such a talker), and discuss all sorts of things is so relaxing to me. I need a dictionary to understand some of the discussions because I am not an intellect but it is amazing at the topics of conversation...I love it! I love the regulars, which I am one of 3 days a week...but there are so many different types of people and I love that too! I think in here I am the decaf girl who never speaks but stays tapping away on the computer...hey...I am actually not talking...

8. This is me feeling better! I don't really look that much better, but my attitude has defiantly changed! Yay me!

9. My aunt, who Parker and I carry out to lunch every Wed., called me yesterday as she does every Tues. to see if we would be going to lunch the next day. I said of course, nothing had changed as long as she still felt up to it. Her response was, "Well the weatherman said that it might rain." I said that I wasn't afraid of the rain if she wasn't and that it didn't make me not want to go to lunch. Anyway about 30 minutes ago (which is a little later that her normal Wed. call) she called again and asked the same question that she ask me every Wed., "Are we still on for today?" I said of course and she said, "Well those clouds sure look crazy!" I reminded her that if it rained that we could still go but that if she wasn't comfortable getting out that we wouldn't. She replied, "Oh no...we can go...are you still coming at the same time?" I told her that I was and hung up the phone just shaking my head because every single week we go through the same conversation. Not exactly, it isn't always the rain but it is always something! :)

10. Never let the beginning of your day dictate how it will end, you can change it for the better!

I am reminded this morning of how much I used to love good music and the effect it used to have on me! I think back to all the shows and concerts that I once attended and all the burnt live tapes YES TAPES that I had to have...that was a time that I lived carefree...without anxiety and worry. Was I making the best choices at that time in my life??? Probably not but I can't say that I live with much regret, just lessons learned and many good times and good memories! Dance sessions in the kitchen with my best friends, cruising the country roads, hanging out on dirt paths, laying on blankets beneath the stars just to catch a glimpse of the night sky, Laurel Mill, spot lighting, Dockside (which was always really bad music from a cover band, but a good time non the less) ...its fun to look back and a little bit scary! LOL!



In college I even tried to learn to play the fiddle. I loved its raw sound and was inspired when I got the opportunity to see an 93 year old Appalachian girl bring tears to my eyes with the sound that she created with just her and her instrument. I will never forget the way she first began to stomp out the beat with the wooden hill of her shoe and then almost magically because it was so natural and effortless she jammed out on the fiddle for like 30 minutes straight! Pure Appalachian music...old school! She had to have help on and off of the stage but once she was with her instrument she transformed into one of the most powerful musicians I have ever witnessed. I went home after that and begged my mom for money to buy my own fiddle and found one for $75 dollars from a hippie on the street. I took lessons for a short while...I still smile now just thinking of the way Chris used to look at me while I attempted to practice. I shortly gave it up b/c I was a typical college kid...lazy and social but Chris mysteriously dropped the couch on it and pretty much destroyed it! I guess I really was THAT BAD! I tried piano as a child, played flute in the band in middle school, but most of my teachers told mama that she was wasting her time and money...they said that I would much rather be on a ball field somewhere and at that time they were right on. Now I wish I had learned an instrument. I envy those who play! As athletic as I was and still am, I would rather Parker have interest in music something that you can connect with emotionally not to mention do forever! Chris' grandaddy Gupton was a singer, songwriter, guitarist who played in church and even had on old gospel record out so maybe Parker will take after his musical talent! BUCKET LIST ITEM #31: Learn to play an instrument...prob. piano...would love guitar, but I can even hold one correctly!

Well, I guess that will lead me up to 5 for Friday, so have a great weekend and enjoy!

1. Listen to music, all genres, some is meaningful, powerful, moving, while other stuff is dumb and meaningless but provides dancing opportunities late at night! Definitely serving a purpose! LOL!

2. Try something new that you have always wanted to try/do...one day we will be too old, sick, to be so lucky!

3. Teach your child to love music...right now Parker ask to hear rock and roll because he said that is what he and his Dad like! I love to watch him rock out in the back seat in the rear view!

4. Slow dance in your kitchen with your husband/wife, dance like a crazy person with your children, and booty dance with your friends whenever the mood strikes. If you don't know how do booty dance...go to a wedding reception after 10pm and observe! LOL!

5. Sing out loud, or at least until your child or whoever is with you tells you to stop. Parker will tell me mama, I don't like that song, please don't sing that song...I think it is my singing that he doesn't like but he is just being nice! Not everyone is an American Idol, but it feels good so do it anyway!

5 for Friday!

So glad that Chris cancelled the trip to the river this weekend, so instead we are staying home, entertaining friends, and getting some work done around the homestead! Yippee...this is rare for us!

1. Watch out for the full moon...I love it, I love the way it controls my mood...makes me feel so giddy and WILD...Thank goodness children will be around tonight...Mama might get buck wild! Nah...but when the moon starts low and orange and then slowly rises and lightens it just makes me feel so natural/romantic/happy...I remember being like 8 and riding my four-wheeler on Fall nights and seeing that same moon and it gave me that same feeling back then! I think that Fall is my most favorite season!


2. Thank the Lord that we are able to be excited about simple things like upcoming trips, moons, friends, weekends...I think about those who are sick or have sick children and how they can't go outside, or don't have the energy or the strength to enjoy things that they once had. It reminds me of the last six months of my Mamascoot's life (my grandmother) and how she layed in her bed day and night and didn't know one day from the next, she didn't realize it was her birthday anymore or Christmas. Or a child who I am praying for that is fighting a losing battle with cancer and how every single moment of everyday single day must be so hard for him and his parents/family. TEARS!!! OH it hurts so bad!!! Thank you Lord that I don't have this in my life at this time!


3. Money isn't all it is cracked up to be. Yeah we need it, yeah I love to shop (not for clothes but stuff), yeah you have to pay bills but in the grand scheme of things when you are dead and gone the things that you do and say are what defines you! That is what people will miss, that is what your family will yearn for...so try to work a little less and don't let your job kill you! When you are dead and gone they will surely find someone to replace you and they will move on. Yuck! I am so thankful for the money and the job that provides for my family but I don't regret one second staying home with Parker and doing with a little less!

4. Remember when you encounter people that everyone has something that they are dealing with or going through that you know nothing about. We are so quick to judge, lash out at, and ignore people without really knowing the whole story. A waitress who might have made you wait too long to take your order, the person walking down the street cussing aloud while you walk within listening distance with your child, the worker in the pharmacy that gets yelled at b/c some one's prescription wasn't ready when they said it would be, and the lady yelling at the pharmacy worker. IT IS SO HARD NOT TO BE GUILTY OF THIS!!! I am so guilty! But I try to remember that the waitress could be on the phone in the kitchen with her babysitter because her child is sick and running a fever. The cussing walker could have just been layed off and doesn't know why! The lady yelling at the pharmacy worker could have a sick child at home who kept her up all night and desperately need the medicine right NOW! The pharmacy worker could have just gotten there after getting off from their first shift job and knows nothing of the situation and is doing her job to the best of her ability! We need to have compassion and understanding because we all are going through something!

5. Enjoy your weekend!